10 Hilariously Useful Holiday Hosting Tips from Ellen
Hi, Everyone! It’s me, Ellen–talk show host by day, hostess with the mostest by late afternoon/early evening. I’m gonna be honest: What you do in your bed, bath, and beyond is absolutely nobody’s business. Except for mine. And that’s why I’m here to offer you 10 wonderful ways to bring more cheer and merriment into your beds, baths, and beyonds throughout the holiday season.
It’s one of the simplest things you can do to spread holiday cheer. Even if you’re feeling stressed, smile. Even if you bite into one of Aunt Susan’s biscuits, and it chips all your front teeth (again!), smile. And if for any reason you forget to smile, one of my mugs will kindly remind you.
Why is it only acceptable for babies to nap? Babies don’t wake up early to start cooking a big holiday meal, and set the table for 20 just so four people can cancel at the last minute (none of the guests with food allergies, of course). And babies don’t forget to take the soufflé out of the oven until the smell of burnt corn reminds them. Then, when they do take out the soufflé, they drop it because it’s so hot. Come to find out, there’s a hole in the holiday oven mitt, which definitely wasn’t there last year. Or maybe it was–who knows?–they ended up using it straight through July.
(Babies don’t do all that, do they? Full disclosure: I do not have a baby.)
Everyone can use a nap. And there’s no better way to take one than with a super-cozy comforter that reminds you of what’s really important–love and supple fabrics.
This is not to be confused with napping. A nap is a short rest to hold you over, while a good sleep can replenish your whole energy supply. It’s like how snacking isn’t really eating, which is why I just snacked an entire nine-inch apple pie. Anyway, there’s no substitute for a good night’s sleep. A well-rested host is a happy host. And my sheets will snuggle you so hard, you’ll want to kiss them under the mistletoe.
It doesn’t have to be alcohol, although that is a great idea. It can be hot cocoa, hot apple cider, or a nog of some sort. Stay well-hydrated, and keep your guests happy with a fine beverage served in an even finer mug.
5. Stay warm
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I’m not a “doctoratician,” but I do know one thing: Heat escapes through your feet. Either your feet or your head. You know what? It might be your head. Doesn’t matter. You have to keep your feet warm, too. And not just warm–you have to keep them adorable. So, get some adorable new socks. Put ‘em on, light a fire, and lay down next to it, even if you live in Los Angeles, and it’s 85 degrees.
6. About those socks
I’m gonna stick with socks for this tip because I feel strongly about it. If you or anyone you know has a hole in your sock where your big toe sticks out, it’s time to get a new pair. It happens to everyone; it’s nothing to get upset about. But there’s a good chance you’re gonna visit someone’s house over the holidays who wants you to take your shoes off. And if you’re the person who reveals a giant hole in your sock, it’ll be a long ride home with your significant other/friend/own conscience.
7. Swap out pillows
You know that old expression: A pillow a day keeps the doctor away? Well, I’ve got you covered. Swap out decorative pillows for a new look and a new message every day. One day, you’re showing how much you love love. The next day, you’re showing that you love cute dogs, too! Your guests will be like, “Did you redecorate your whole house since the last time I was here?!” And you’ll be like, “Yes. Yes, I did. So, please take off your shoes.” (See tip 6!)
8. Throw something
But not at anyone. I mean throw a throw blanket on the sofa. Throw a throw pillow on the bed before you throw your holiday party. Also, be sure to throw something on to wear that makes you feel good. Wanna throw on a throw? I’m not here to stop you.
9. Make goody bags
Who doesn’t like getting a goody bag at the end of a party? How about a goody mug? Fill it with candy (or coal if your guests have been naughty), and send them off into the night with a memorable treat and/or lesson on their behavior.
10. Be kind
Spread love and joy. The holidays are all about family and friends. I’m kidding–they’re about gifts. I’m kidding–they’re about both. So, whether you’re inviting people to your home or going to theirs, get the word out on love, kindness, and joy. My pillows and mugs can’t stop talking about them.